Frustrating and Absurd Questions

Or are you better off not knowing?

We get asked silly questions all the time. Physical violence is the most satisfying way of answering, but it gets us in all sorts of legal trouble. Hence this page. 

The GRi650

Q: Why?
A: We were really, really drunk. And it's fun!

Q: Why not modify a good bike instead?
A: Because good bikes don't need modifying nearly as much as a GR.

Q: What's with the fluffy dice?
A: They make it go faster. Truly. Besides, they look cool.

Q: Why the Spokie Dokies?
A: They make people laugh. True, there is a difference between laughing with and laughing at, but we consider laughter in general to be a good thing and therefore the Spokie Dokies are a public service. Besides, they're only laughing at Steve.

Q: What actually holds Project Shitbox together? It's obviously not string.
A: The bike is a rolling advertisement for Selley's Knead-It. There's about four kilos in there so far. Including the cam lobes and half the crank. It's good stuff!

Q: Did it really cost $150?
A: Yes. The previous owner wanted $100, but Steve talked him up. Hey, you get what you pay for, so if you pay more, you get more, right?


The CBR250i

Q: Why don't you just buy a 600?
A: Because that's too easy and there's no satisfaction in it

Q: Why paint it yellow?
A: It's a good safety colour. Also, the paint was cheap. Nobody else wanted it.

Q: When are you going to get it finished?
A: A quality product cannot be rushed. No, we don't know either.

The Manx

Q: Isn't a 1385 VeeWee motor a bit tame?
A: Yeah, but not for long!

Project Thumper

Q: Surely no internal combustion engine could possibly run with that much debris floating around in it! You've gotta be joking, surely?
A: Nope, not in the slightest. If you like, we'll let YOU tell Honda that their engines break the laws of physics.

Q: You really did measure the front wheel spacers very carefully, didn't you? Nobody in their right mind would just bolt it all together and hope for the best!
A: Nope. Exactly.

Round Tuits

Q: Is that REALLY a Dino 246 GT?
A: Please just go away.

The Crew

Q: Who let these loonies outta the bin?
A: Nobody. We escaped.

Q: Why are you too afraid to show your faces?
A: We’re not afraid; we’re just following the instructions of our legal team. They mumbled something about "the Horror, the Horror!" but we're not quite sure what they were getting at.

Q: Why don't you get someone who can actually speak English to compose your webpages?
A: We dunno what you're talking about. Our grammar may never always be half as splendiferously goodly as it mightly ought, but at least we make more sense than a Federal pollie.