Team Feral

The Feral Injection Crew

Richard (Psychotic Maniac)

Team Leader, Test Rider and Human Shield

"Uh-oh! We have snappages!"

The driving force behind the whole project, Richard is completely obsessed with fuel injection. Before injection, he was obsessed with building his own jet turbine, although he lost interest in that little venture after the test-runs of an early prototype shot flames 12 feet out the garage door, peppered the fence with molten metal, and caused the neighbours to complain to the council (again). He still denies that annoying the neighbours was the inspiration behind the whole thing, even though the jet exhaust was pointed squarely at their bedroom window.

Richard is competent with a MIG welder, skilled with a lathe and a genius with a soldering iron. He believes that protective clothing is for wimps, which explains the nice tan from welding flash. Amazingly, Richard still has most of his own skin, and his eyebrows always seem to grow back eventually. We all dive behind Richard when things start to go wrong.

A keen motorcyclist, Richard enjoys sliding both tyres simultaneously and using the road to grind holes in his exhaust pipes. He also uses asphalt to file his toenails, although he doesn't take his boots off first. He has a special fascination with roundabouts, and often gets off his bike halfway around to examine them in more detail.

Richard enjoys annoying his neighbours and cooking cats for nutrition, fun and profit.

Steve (Inbred Redneck)

Test Rider, Scribe and Comic Relief.

"I'll drink anything I can get in my mouth best try outta three!"

All the technical expertise in the world is of no use if you don't have anyone stupid enough to ride the finished product. Drumroll, please... It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the Flying Freak! If he's not getting air over speedbumps, he's flying off the bike and over a cliff.Steve firmly maintains that "if it's got two wheels and an engine, I can crash it!" and was selected as test rider because if anything goes wrong we won't feel guilty about laughing at him. Also, he has owned a variety of carburetted and fuel injected motorcycles, all of which he has dropped, written off or inflicted major mechanical damage on. He's not a very good rider, but he is crap with style.

He firmly believes that metres of gaffer tape, kilos of Selley's Knead-It and a bodgy paintjob applied with a dunny brush are all that is required to restore a wreck to roadworthy condition. Somebody should probably tell him otherwise, but given that nobody else is stupid enough to ride Project Shitbox, he'll probably find out for himself eventually. It should be spectacular, so we'll do our best to be there with the cameras rolling.

Steve has a secret ambition to be a bike journalist one day, because they get bribed to write lies and he thinks that sounds glamorous. Hes responsible for most of the wordy-type stuff on this website.

Apart from writing off motorcycles, Steve's hobbies include cow tipping, shooting at road signs and drinking metho. Steve lives in Gympie (where else?)

Neil (Deranged Freak)

Programmer, Technical Insultant and Cameraman

"Wait, let me get a photo of that before it blows up.... oops, too late!"

Neil doesn't wear coke-bottle glasses and a vinyl pocket protector full of pens, but he's as technically competent as anyone who does. If it's made of impure silicon and goes "beep", Neil's your man. He can make a computer... well, sitting up and begging isn't the half of it. He's also good with electronics, which is very handy. When Richard blows something up, Neil can usually tell what went wrong, and sometimes even why. Once or twice he's even been able to stop it from happening again!

If he had a wand and a cloak with sigils on it we'd call him a technical wizard, but he doesn't, so we don't. If he was a little more polite we'd call him a CONsultant rather than an INsultant, but... likewise.

Neil has also taken up the challenge of recording our exploits for posterity with a Sony digital video camera. It's a scary job, but someone's gotta do it and Neil drew the short straw. Neil's favourite camera technique is the jiggly hand-held look favoured by amateur porno directors, sleazy current affairs shows and "artistic" documentary makers. He won't get headhunted by CNN or the BBC, but at least he's better than most of the camera monkeys at Channel 9.

Neil spends his spare time knitting socks, practicing origami (hes a forty-seventh dan), and beating up little old ladies.

The Cunning Stunters

Mad as they are, there are some things that Steve and Richard won't do on camera. The reasons are of a legal nature, quite complex, and potentially very expensive. So for some of the GR's supplementary stunt shots, we needed a pair of truly depraved individuals who didn't mind being photographed in compromising positions. These two shall (mercifully) remain nameless, but rest assured they are (like the rest of the Feral Injection crew) certifiably insane and completely devoid of both fear and common sense.

The one on the left only communicates in monosyllabic grunts (which sound like a constipated pig).

The one on the right gets his point across remarkably well with a wide range of obscene gestures.